The Yahoo's Spirituallity Board Archives:
Topic- Experiencing the Journey

Posted as a reply to: Msg 95 by doc_kramer
 

Go for it Beamer...
by: doc_kramer (48/F/St. Louis, MO) 1/2/00 11:28 pm
Msg: 110 of 161
Gotcha covered. Love and support to you and yours Beamer, doc

Posted as a reply to: Msg 109 by B_eamer
 

Where to begin? (edited by Beamer)
by: B_eamer (5/M/Calif.) 1/3/00 5:25 am
Msg: 111 of 161 Thanks Doc. It is a comfort to know that you are there. When I was young, 3,4,or 5, I used to "hear" voices fighting. I would "hear" these voices when I was supposed to be taking a nap. My mom was big on naps. Having children of my own now, I can see why. Time alone. Peace and quiet. These voices fighting, angry at times other times not sure what was going on. I wondered. What was this? Why does this happen? Is it for real? But I never asked anyone. I just would lay there, listening, eventually going to sleep. In fifth grade, I entered into Boy Scouts, after being in Cub scouts for years. All positive role models. My Scout Master is, was, an amazing man. The father I never had. I had a Father, but he was an Alcoholic big time. I learned a lot about being a father from my Dad, mostly what not to do. I enter into High school - 1970. Vietnam is going nuts. My draft number was like 65. I was going over, sometime. You don't have a number that low and not go. I had four years to wait this Monstrosity out. One of my fellow Scouts has an amazing Girlfriend. She talks to me about an organization called Christian Life that was being held up at the local Junior College. She was a mighty fine looking individual and I was a Kid looking for some new freinds. She keeps after me to attend just one of their meetings. I finally give in and attend a Christian life meeting. They didn't waste any time on me. Boom, the first time I go and they have gotten me to accept Jesus Christ as My Lord and Savior. I was a "Born Again" Christian. I had met Luke when I was in 3rd grade. He and I would sleep over at each others house from time to time and discuss things which we had no way of knowing at the time. About God, about stars, about evil, about knights and fighting and swords and G I Joe. We actually could answer the questions about the little plastic toy soldier. He joined Scouts as well, followed my time through Boy Scouts and we were inseperable friends through High School. Move on up to the about age thirty. My spirtual journey was rocky at best. I was trying, but it came in spurts and sputters. It was about this time that I removed the entity from an associates house (See life force board). I was aware of Ishtar, but my communication skills were sorely lacking with him. I would have to get in a room all quiet and concentrate big time to be able to "talk" with him. Once I removed this entity, I was able to understand him a whole lot better. It became much easier to "talk" to him. That remaoval of the entity was the key apparently to a huge door in my journey, cause things really started rockin' after that.
Part of this time was a blur. The details are a bit lacking, but I started getting attacked spiritually. Little annoiances that, at times, had me wondering if indeed I was sane. I had to discover a way to know beyond a shadow of a doubt when I was talking to Ishtar. For you coming up behind me and think this to be really neat, I thought the same thing. Not the going crazy part, but the meeting of spirit entities. I was stupid enough to be asking for these encounters and I was getting them big time. Evil was making itself aware to me in a royal fashion. Extremly sly, oily, underhanded and mean. My cummincation with the spirit world got so good that I could "talk" while doing most anything now. I didn't even have to concentrate and "They" knew it. "They" had me to a point where I even began to doubt if Ishtar was Good or not. It took quite a while and lots of talking to actual humans about what I was going through to finally put all the pieces together and to start kickin' some serious butt. Just be forwarned, be very careful of what you ask for, cause you may very well get it. Once I figured out beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ishtar was of God, I developed a way to figure out excatly when I was "talking" to him. I would ask him questions which only he would know. Life became much easier for me, spiritually, once I figured this little key out. What amazed me was that the evil kept on coming. I would figure out that "they" were not who they claimed to be and Ishtar would remove them from me. I don't know why he was unaware of their presence then, but it was a giant learning curve for both of us. There is something spiritually about the Number 3. The holy trinity -the father son and wholy ghost. Me becoming 33. This is when the "fun" began. I have played eletric guitar since I was 16. Have written hundreds of songs and have been able to play pretty much anything I want for a long time. That is as long as its rock. I have had people compare me to Jimi Hendrix. I don't think so, but if that is what they hear coming out of my Amp, then I'm not going to argue with them. I don't know if youv'e seen the movie Crossroads, but the kid that is in Karate Kid meets up with the Devil and makes a deal. If he can out play on guitar the devils best player, he gets to keep his soul. I almost did the same thing. He came to me one night. Let me repeat, I really don't want to go here. This was not a fun time for me at all. I did not ask for any of this any the only reason I am putting words to screen here is at Ishtar's insistance. There was no warning. I was ready for bed. My wife had already gone to sleep. My three childeren were asleep. Trying to remember our first encounter is pretty difficult. Just cause other battles are a whole lot more vivid. This was extremly subtle and sly. But he let me know his name. Satan. The dude himself. The big cahuna. Ishtar was powerless. Couldn't do a thing. He came, let me know he was in the neighborhood and left. Just a freindly wake up call. I basically freaked. I got a hold of my pastor at the Methodist Chuch I used to attend and asked his assistance. He basically informed me that Satan didn't exist, that he was a sore loser (Satan) And I probably had a stomach ache. Yeah right. I found a small silver cross that my mother had given me years before and started wearing it religously. Satan came to me a few more times, playing with me. One time for two days I couldn't speak. He took my voice away. What gave me great comfort after these attacks was to seek sanctuary in the beautiful church I grew up in. I was able to regain composure and regain my strength, literally. I was amazed at how quickly my battries recharged once I enter that Holy building. Of course, this would be at night, usually and I would have to contact the Pastor to let me in the church. I guess he thought I had a lot of stomach aches.
I finally got to the point where I said, Luckily to myself, "Look, I can't keep living like this. Lets get this over with once and for all. I saw the movie. I'll cut you a deal. You get my soul if I can't kick your best Guitar player." I laugh now, looking at how foolish I was, but I was serious. I went one last time to my pastor, told him of my plan and if it didn't work out ... He let me know that there had to be a better way. I guess maybe it wasn;'t just a stomach ache after all, eh? So I thought and thought. I read the Bible and asked for assistance through God. Apparently Satan didn't care for that.
He came to me this time again at night. I was watching TV. My family was asleep. He didn't let me know that he was there. I just became very thirsty. No biggy. Went and got a drink. No good, I was still thirsty. Parched. I drank and drank. No Good. I asked Ishtar what was going on. No response. Oh Sh*t. What the heck is going on. It dosen't matter how much water I drink, I am still parched. I decided to go to Bed. Get some sleep. I take a glass of water to bed with me. Suddenly my nose starts running like a faucet. I use tissue to blow my nose and throw them away. I am laying in bed, nose running, using tissue like crazy and thirsty as all get out. I had the light urned out. I reached to where the glass of water should have been. The glass isn't there. I turn on the night light and find the glass has moved about two feet. Thats strange, then I go to take a drink. The damn thing has gotten used kleenex in it. Oh Sh*t. I got up and went towards the kitchen to get another glass of water. There on the floor is a leash that I used for a Dog we used to have, It had been in the closet. It is layed out in the shape of something vaguely familiar. It hadn't been there before. I looked it up in the dictionary and discover that it is the shape of an anch. In this dictionary. it says it can represent either Life or Death. I choose that it means life. I start reading in the bible, pages are coming to me in a particular fashion. I find a passage about Jesus walking and visiting cities in the desert and discovering moisture under a rock. Jesus had been thirsty and was parched. He discovered the moisture under the rock and his thirst was slaked. Instantly, I was no longer thirsty, Thank you, dear Lord. I drank again and went back to bed. He then showed himself to me. A huge horned red head that let me know in no uncertain manner that I was not to see the light of day. He was through "screwing" with me and wanted me GONE. Here it was about 3 am and I needed sanctuary something fierce. There were no churches open. I know, at least for about a four or five mile radius, for I was driving around looking for one. It's not like in the movies where you can got to a church anytime and there is a candle you can light and sit at a pew. This was 1989 and the world is slightly different place now. Finally at 4:30 am, I get a hold of my pastors son. His dad is at a meeting out of town, but he will see what he can do for me. I must have sounded a bit unhinged by then. I get a phone call back. There is another Methodist church that I can go to and the Pastor will be there as quick as he can. I drove like a maniac. It was close to 4:50 and the sky was lightening up just a little. I was in the parking lot reading Genisis from the begining when the Pastor showed up. I must have looked a mess for he gave me the weirdest look. He let me in and I asked to enter his church proper. He was wanting to keep me in his office. I informed him that I was to enter his church or else Satan was to consume me in no unpleasant manner. He finalyy succumbed. I entered the raised cathedral and marveled as My energy returned slowly to me. I was totally drained. He then offered to pray for me. I said he could do what ever he wanted. I was just overjoyed to be in that building. He prayed for me and then sat me down and started asking questions. He had recently attened a psycology meeting and was trying to discover some mental deraingment, I guess. He asked, I answered, without pulling one single punch. When I left an hour later he was looking as I had felt when I had enterd his building. He was ashen and bleary eyed and looking a bit disheveled. I didn't care. I was alive and it was daylight. I had beaten that SOB again. And was totally recharged. Life was awsome. And still is. But the story dosn't end here. I am out of time though. Duty calls. I shall continue for I have a bit more of this path to wander, fellow journier. Still have your socks on?

Posted as a reply to: Msg 113 by B_eamer
 

Socks in tact...
by: doc_kramer (48/F/St. Louis, MO) 1/3/00 7:45 pm
Msg: 115 of 161
And the big guy wants a piece of ya... doc

Posted as a reply to: Msg 114 by B_eamer
 

Oneness
by: newhboy 1/3/00 9:22 pm Msg: 116 of 161
Is it possible that's what it is that I've been feeling when I meditate on Universal Healing?? I usually do it while listening Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" concert (3rd movement -Autum) and the emotions in my chest are so intense that the whole world dissapears and I feel like I'm levitating and my whole skin tingles intensely as it were electrified and those emotions bring tears to my eyes. It also gives me the feeling that everything is possible and I feel so safe and peaceful in that moment that I want it NEVER to end!! The joy, peace and love I feel in that moment is unexplainable and then I emerge from that state feeling renewed and relaxed. If it is not oneness, what is that I've been experiencing. I have never had an animal coming up close to my face, but there was an ocassion that I was having lunch outside on a beautiful summer day and I was feeling a very intense sensation of peace when 4 or 5 butterflies came and stood around my head for a few minutes and flew away. Nearby there was a lady that said that it looked like a crown or that it seemed like they were kissing my head and she asked if I had used a floral shampoo or gel. We laughed and I thought that it was a wonderful coincidence, but I don't know if it has any significance.

Posted as a reply to: Msg 105 by marietta_x
 

Doc ...
by: B_eamer (5/M/Calif.) 1/4/00 5:12 am Msg: 117 of 161
That be an affimative. More to follow.

Posted as a reply to: Msg 115 by doc_kramer
 

The story continues ... (Edited By Beamer)
by: B_eamer (5/M/Calif.) 1/4/00 5:19 am
Msg: 118 of 161
By all rights, I should be asleep. But again, as many times with my journey, sleep takes a backseat to what is neccessary for me to proceed Forward. I am working, having a family life, but the early morning hours are for this, my next step forward. Something dawned on me this morning. I had a lady that I was jamming with at a time prior to my meetings with Satan. She was apparently able to see a red headed spirit looking through her window from time to time. She described this enity to me , but Ishtar and I were not able to detect this entity. I wasn't able to help everyone that I came into contact with that was having a supernatural problem, so I let it slide, praying for her and hoping that no harm would befall her. I don't think this enity was after her at all. I now think he was my arch enemy checking up on me, keeping tabs. The sight of this spirit scared her something terrible. Perhaps, that was his plan then. I don't know. Don't really care. I ran into her about six years ago and everything was fine with her, so I'm not too concerened about it now. Just part of my journey to relate, I guess. After the night where I battled Satan proper, call it the night of the thirst, I proceeded to try to live my life normal as I could. I was rocked to the core, though. Why was he after me? What had I done to have ever brought forth his rath? Then it dawned on me ...Duh, here I am, slowly destroying his army. One by one. He in all likly hood was the one behind all the Entities being sent my way, and I wasn't playing by his rules. His soldiers weren't returning back to him. For at the time, Ishtar wasn't playing any games either. We were on a mission, and still are. Again, a lot of this stuff has happened to me and I put it away in storage, moving on. Dealing with the real world and life. Not having the luxury, if you want to call it that, of being able to reflect a great deal on what has happened. Being ready for the next onslaught, having my shield in place the moment I awake and keeping my sword good and sharp. Not knowing where or when the next attack will come from. This is during the time when I wasn't afraid of losing my mind. The attacks did keep on coming. I ran into more hostile enities, some times two or three at a time. They would come to me and try to present themselvfes as Ishtar. Very sly and sneaky, sometimes causing me doubt. At least it wouldn't take me days to figure out what was going on, as in the "olden" days. Looking back on this I have to ask, why wasn't I better protected? The answer I get is that it was unfortunate, but Ishtar was on a huge learning curve as well. He had never had to engage in a battle such as what we went through. He was ill prepared. He has been amazed at my powers of deduction and awreness to discern evil and point it out to him. Most of these entities have been invisible to him. It has only been once I find and point it out to Ishtar, that he is able to find and locate a lot of these enties. I aplogize for bringing the issue up, But he says that it is quite all right. He hasn't had much time to refect as well. I love the big slug. Sorry about that. Had a moment there. Any way on with the story.
It was about this time that I was introduced to a wonderfully quirky individual that worked at the local university in Religious studies. He fancied himself a parapsycologist. One who seeks and stuidies paranormal activity. I asked of him if he though me sane. I didn't have to go into great detail about my battles with Satan, for he came to me through the Pastor. The pastor had filled him in, Hoping the he might offer me some advice on what to do. Frankly, I think, now looking back, the whole Idea scared him to death. I am sure what I was up against was a whole lot more than this dude ever intended on discovering in his journey. But at the time, I found him rather aloof and not very freindly. Can't blame the dude for wanting to keep his distance. Any way he assured me that I was perfectly sane. I was just having some "rough times" spiritually. Kind of like telling someone that hauls Nitroglycerin for a living to drive safely. Lets call him Fred. Fred was more interested in my abilities to seek out entities than to help me with my problem at hand, mainly what to do if and when Satan should reappear. I offered my assistance, but it never came about the way he had intended. There is a whole 'nother chapter of my journey which I haven't had a chance to discuss yet dealing with my "third" eye. Anyway, I told him of this abilty as well and he thought that I may be able to assist him in that regard. Seems he was scheduled to have surgery done on a growth on his bvody and thought perhaps I might be able to remove it before he under went the scapel. I won't go into great detail here, but I was unsucessful. His timing couldn't have been worse. I was suffering from a major headache at the time and couldn't really concentrate at all. I later tried to go to sleep and was presented with the sight of different entities circling the room. This was only one of a very few times that I was actually able to see with my eyes the entities I was facing. I asked Ishtar to remove them and then started asking where they came from. They weren't on the attack. They weren't after me. They were just there. Seems that they had attached them selves to Fred in his various journies and had been attracted to me instead. I later informed Fred of this development. He soon decided to give up his supernatural quest and stick with just teaching. Gee, I can't understand why. Poor Fred just wasn't ready for the heavy stuff. After finding out from Fred, that no I wasn't going nuts, that it was perfectly understandable for me to be going through what I was enduring and feeling the way I was. That took quite a load off and I was able to venture forth with renewed strenth and Vigure. I was alive. I was strong and getting stronger with each passing day in my detection and removal of evil. I loved my "job". I began to revel in the "battle". I looked forward to my next confrontation with great optimisim and fantastic positive attitude. Evil really screwed up in sending all those entities my way, for it was likng working out with weights. Repetitive lifting in a rountine fashion makes ones muscles grow stronger and more durable. I know this for a fact cause I have spent most of my adult life doing just that. These repetitve attacks on my soul, my lively hood and my family brought out the perfect fighting machine, coupled with God and Ishtar, I began to feel invincible. Looking back, That was probably just exactly what evil wanted me to feel. Cocky. Too self assured. Not cautious in my manner. Almost reckless. Because Evil was not through with me yet. Not by a long shot.

And so it ends... by: B_eamer (5/M/Calif.) 1/5/00 2:29 am Msg: 121 of 161 Readers digest version: I meet with another entity called Lucifer. Scary as all heck, that one, not to mention extremly dangerous, but with God's help, I am able to resoundly defeat and destroy this entity. Satan is Capturted. He was not destroyed. Again, with Gods help and the fellowship of My church. This final battle raged on for days. The actual skirmish leading to the battle went on for a week. Ishtar was not a factor in either Victory. He had been captured himself. Scariest damn week of my life and I was to go it without my left arm. I couldn't so much as raise an utterance from him then. There it is out! I feared not telling the whole story would not lend the credibility that I was after. As it is , it is the message that you are needing. Not the story. I, again did not ask for any of this. I basically, in a very short format have laid out a good chunk of very personal spiritual moments of my life. These are now present for all the Internet to see and judge. The message again is that Satan is no longer a power on this Earth and hasn't been for some 9 years. Evil still exists, it just dosen't have a leader any more. I can not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is true. I have asked for proof. The truth is though, that since my final battle with Satan, I have not been botherd once by him. I can't say evil hasn't come to me, for it has, but it has been nothing like what I faced before. Believe it or don't. I can't make that decision for you. As far as all that is holy and true inside of me, with God as my witness, heck for that matter, for all the Internet as my witness, this is the truth.

The truth shall set you free.

Namaste.

Posted as a reply to: Msg 120 by B_eamer
 
 

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by Beamer on
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